Hey just put taiwan trip aside first k.

I just feel emotional now.
and I dont wish to create a drama on facebook.
So the best place to vain my emotion is here.

A relationship, the longer it is the more unstable it is.
Its just like walking on a unstable bridge.
Someone ever told me this, a relationship is like a chair.
When you brake it and fix it back it will still become unstable.
I totally understand and agree now.
Relationship been thru quarrel and even fight, thats the breaking chair...
And no matter how we fix it, the person will still remember it.

I am a alcoholic, I just love to drink, I just dont like to be controlled when I drink.
I will even true very aggressive, to certain ppl.
But i dont know what I am doing.

I have try to fix myself by stop drinking outside for months.
But sometimes for some friends birthday party, I just have to entertain.
But I just dont like to be controlled.......
I am someone that the more you control me the more I will do it.

Just last week, I lost control of myself again.
I created a argument because the person keep nagging me.
but then I AM VERY SOBER.
We fight, but i didnt wanted to use any force because i know my strength is too big.
But what I got back is all injures and that person is totally fine.

The fight is over.... And I try to explain things to that person.
But that person just dont want to listen.
and say i created the problem.
am I the only problem. I am up to blame
AM I?
Who Can understand me?

I know when I put on this post it may sound very blur to a lot of ppl.
But I just wan a place to vain it out even if I am posting rubbish.
I am sorry reader, Bear with me....
I am losing my mind soon.